Black Star's Troubles
by CactusKing
Summary: Black Star has a problem. A serious one. He knows that something is very wrong with him and he can't stand it. He's hidden part of it from his friend's up until today when he makes the simple mistake of staying too quiet in his room too long. There will be romance later (Soul x Black Star). Warning: Cutting, Depression, Romance, Suicidal thoughts (possibly actions later).
1. Chapter 1

Okay guys so this is one I will definitely stick with. I'm stuck on my other fanfic and I just can't find the inspiration for it. I'll get back to it as soon as I do.

Now to the explanation of a few things. This story hasn't been polished beyond what I normally do and hasn't had any professional (or semipro) editing done so if you catch something please let me know. If you're wondering where I got the inspiration for some of the issues in this chapter, it's personal stuff that I've had happen in my own life that has inspired me to write it in a different setting. Same goes with the note in this chapter, I edited one that I found in my freshman year of high school stuff to fit the Soul Eater world, but it is basically what I had written down. Enjoy the story, please rate and review and let me know if there is something you want to see happen later on (besides gooey romance stuff because I have that all down).

* * *

Black Star looked around, moving everything from top to bottom in his dresser, his mattress, and his room in a full blown panic, unable to find what he had been searching for. His sweet release from emotional pain, the thing he had kept hidden from everyone else, his razor. Lately his feelings had been getting to him about possibly being into Soul Eater Evans, the guy he was supposed to be best friends with, the guy that he would never have because there is no way that Soul would ever be able to like someone that hurt themselves and had an ego that was larger than life. He knew that it had pushed him away and that he would never love him.

Only Black Star knew the truth about his own ego, he never wanted to be the person he had become, just hide that he had always been depressed and hated himself. There wasn't much that Black Star truly loved about himself besides the fact that he was able to attack with his own soul wavelength without trouble. There was nothing else about himself that he loved. He hated how small in stature and size he was and he hated that there was nobody there for him. He felt the pain that many people who lead from the top felt, the pain of not being able to have someone just hold him and let him cry or talk out his emotions in his most private moments. Sure he had his weapon, but there was just something about that relationship that he couldn't change with letting her know his true feelings.

For many months Black Star had been questioning the feelings he had been having. He knew that boys were supposed to like girls as a standard feeling of attraction in manners of physical, emotional, and sexual feelings but he couldn't quite shake the feeling that he had about developing the same thoughts about boys. Specifically he was pretty sure he had a crush on Soul as every time he glanced into his demonic red eyes, he felt something in him stir deeply causing him to move closer immediately to the boy. It was just the way that Soul talked to him and made him feel, the butterflies in his tummy, the nervousness that clouded his mind, and the small little jitters that hinged on every glance and stare exchanged between the two. Of course Black Star had some feelings developing for Maka and Tsubaki, but neither made him feel the way Soul did. Looking at Kidd did similar things to his psyche and his body. He certainly loved the way Kidd filled his suit and how he looked when he stared a challenger down before a battle. And he hated it. He hated the feelings that he had developed for boys. He knew in his heart that it wasn't normal, that he wasn't supposed to feel this way, and it ate at him festering slowly into a problem of depression and self-hatred. The feelings ate away at him. He felt disgusted in every sense of the word, as he knew it wasn't right, Soul belonged to Maka not to such a lowly person like himself. He knew he wasn't worthy of love from anyone and he hated feeling like that. He hated being himself, he hated existing, he hated being nothing like the person he wanted to be. His confidence had been shaken many times and he swore to himself that he would come back from his low point, stronger than ever before. This time was the exception to that rule; he fell into a deep depression that constantly ate away at him, bit by small bit. He had recently contemplated suicide and was thinking about how to end his life, even writing a suicide note.

Turning over a pile of dirty laundry revealed his suicide note and he glanced at it, quickly reading silently to himself as tears welled deep in his eyes knowing that this would be the last thing his weapon, no his partner would see from him, before putting it back under that pile.

* * *

Tsubaki,

By now you have found me and realized that I am gone. My soul has gone quiet forever. I know that this is going to be a shock to you so I have prepared this for you to explain what has been happening to me.

For the longest time I've been outrageous and gone overboard with pretending to be a god. I've said that I will surpass God himself and I now know that it would be impossible for me to do that. My personality has caused you and our friends to be hurt more times than it has saved them. My sheer will has saved us more times than I can remember however I just can't do this anymore. I'm broken and unfit to be your meister. I should have told you what was bothering me, but I can't bring myself to do so. I've gotten feelings for you, I've sat on them so long because I know it would just change us and tear the two of us apart. At least that's normal about me. What's more is that I've started…looking at boys the same way, in a more than friendly kind of way. It's not normal and I'm not okay with it. It's wrong, disgusting and I won't subject you to it anymore. You shouldn't have been paired with me, you would have been better off with someone else who can actually take care of themselves rather than someone who can't even focus long enough to do well in school, can't take care of himself, or even make sure that he is okay. I'm not good enough for you and never have been. I wish that I could have been better to you.

I'm so sorry that you had to find me like this. I wish I could have done something different to fix myself, but there's no way I could do it. I can't fix what's wrong with me and you don't deserve to be subject to a poor partner. I'm so sorry Tsubaki. What possessions I have are yours to do with as you please. Please know that what has happened isn't your fault. You are not to blame for any of this. Please dispose of me by throwing me in the trash where I belong.

I'm so sorry Tsubaki.

Black Star

* * *

Soul looked around the living room where he and Kidd were sitting and moved a coffee cup that sat on the table just ever so slightly, causing Kidd to freak out about how it was no longer symmetrical. He laughed deeply and moved it back to where it had been, letting Kidd free of his torment. "You're a real dick you know that?" Kidd said as he shot Soul a dark glare. "Yeah I know I am, Kidd. Of course I know it, but I hope you know that this is just foreplay for what I'm going to do later. I've got this plan to move everything in your room so it's just ever so slightly off." He whispered across the table failing to stifle a few giggles as they escaped him.

"I will reave the flesh from your bones if you even try that." Kidd said as he tried to hide the panic he felt inside from the thought of everything being asymmetrical.

Something had stirred in Soul's chest when he looked at Maka's backside and the way it ever so slightly swayed as she walked with Tsubaki to check on Black Star as he had been away and quiet for an abnormally long time. He loved watching her walk away, just loved it. Kidd made a remark about Soul's staring and a small remark about how he thought the same things about Liz and Patty. Realizing that this was the moment he had been in need of to ask a very personal question without anyone hearing, Soul moved to the other side of the table and sat close to Kidd.

"Kidd I need to talk to you about something. It's kind of embarrassing and I just want to get your thoughts and possibly some advice." Soul said in a voice just barely above a whisper.

"Soul whatever it is, you can talk to me about it. I'll do my best to give you advice on it." Kidd replied equally quiet.

"I'm just going to tell you and then ask." Soul started, "I…I've been feeling strange lately."

"Strange how?"

"Well, I know that I'm supposed to like girls and all and believe me when I say that I do. The things I would do to Maka if we had that kind of relationship. But…I kinda get fluttery when I look at some of the boys. I get a little bit excited and a little flustered, but I don't know what to make of it. Should I suppress it or what? What's going on exactly? A cool guy isn't supposed to feel like this." Soul said nervously hoping that Kidd wouldn't react badly.

"Soul I'm glad that you feel you can trust me with this information. I want you to know that what you are feeling is completely normal. What you feel is simple it's that you are bisexual. You like boys and girls. Kind of…kind of like me, but not in the same sense. As a shinigami I am above sexual preference and do not like boys or girls more than the other. It's truly neutral" Kidd said quietly.

"You what? No way." Soul whispered in quiet astonishment. "Actually I could see that. It makes sense now, the way you looked at some of the people we worked with. Do you know why you are like that? Is there any reason Shinigami-sama would have told you that could explain it?"

"You…noticed that…hmmm…okay." Kidd said, unsure of his next move. He never would discover what he was thinking as yellow jacketed arms wrapped around him in a trusting embrace, shocking him slightly. "Brohug?" he asked in shock.

"Yes, brohug. I just…I don't know sometimes. It's…difficult to accept this. I don't want it to be the way I am. You're the only one that I've told and I think that it is just…going to have to stay that way. I mean what if Maka and Black Star found out about this? I don't think that they would be okay with this let alone Tsubaki. What do you think I should do?" Soul said as he let go of Kidd and leaned back.

"Honestly I think that you just need to accept those feelings. There's no reason to not accept them as a part of you. As to whom you should tell, that's up to you. As to answer your question of why I have no sexual preference it is at least partly due to the fact that I am a corporeal figure that represents death. I am a god of death, therefore I am above human preference in sexuality, but I am not above the needs of humans. As such I feel emotions and can fall in love but simply have no preference or even an inclination towards one person or another based purely on sex." Kidd said trying to understand what he was telling Soul.

"Makes sense if you think about it a little." Soul remarked while scratching his spiky-haired head and returned to torturing Kidd by moving the coffee cups.

* * *

Desperately Black Star wanted to cut, to make another line across his leg or his chest just to feel better. "How did I become an addict? I didn't mean to do this. It wasn't supposed to turn into something like this. I just want some freedom from hurting and aching and just feeling utterly worthless." He thought quietly, hoping Tsubaki or anyone else in the apartment wouldn't hear his thoughts over the resonance. Ever since the battle with the Kishin Asura, which the group had bonded and formed a resonance that was fairly constant while they were in a small area with Soul and himself being the heads of the group as his piano could increase the rate beyond anyone's wildest dreams in addition to his own brute force tactics. The downside to being in a group resonance or even having a resonance with another person is that his feelings were easily read and felt by the others, which he wanted to hide.

Finally, after turning over a long unused pizza box did he find his relief, his medical kit containing all manner of cutting instruments that he would use to relieve his pain. He never heard the door open or the scream from Tsubaki and Maka as they saw his shirt come off and the blade go to his chest. Only afterwards did he realize the mistake he had made in not being careful to hide his problems from his friends.

"BLACK STAR!" Tsubaki yelled as she sprinted towards her meister, knocking the razor out of his hand as he finished a line. In that instant her life had changed from being one of just taking care of Black Star's ego to tame it down a notch, to ensuring his physical safety from himself. Her hand connected with her meister's and broke two of the bones in his hand from sheer force; never had she hit him this hard let alone hit him in general, but she knew that what she had done was the best course of action for the immediate time.

Black Star let out a scream not unlike one of a young girl being scared in a haunted house, "MY HAND!" he cried knowing that something was broken, he moved it closer to him as the tears welled in his eyes. At least it drew him away from the emotional pain that he had been feeling moments before. The tears spilled over slowly and trailed down his cheeks only to be swiftly wiped away by a frightened Tsubaki, who was embracing him tightly.

Maka had run back to the common room where Kidd and Soul were sitting, nagging about symmetry while the other was purposely moving coffee cups around to make the placement asymmetrical. "Quick! You guys need to come with me, we have a serious emergency and we need to deal with this now." Alarmed immediately by the message, Soul turned into a scythe and readied himself for combat with Kidd taking him as a Death Scythe. "NOT THAT KIND OF EMERGENCY!" Maka shouted clearly ready to cry, "Just come with me!" Immediately, Soul went back into human form and took Maka's hand, knowing that she rarely cried especially in front of anyone else, after grabbing Kidd to pull him along.

As they ran back to the room Maka's voice broke during a quick rundown of what she and Tsubaki found after going to check on Black Star. Soul's heart ached knowing that his friend with whom he was somewhat in love had been hurting badly enough to do something of this caliber. He was both bothered and terrified by what had been going on without his noticing. He looked at Black Star's body that had been covered in cuts and scars, some pink and some bleeding from just a few moments earlier and some well healed and worn while others still were somewhere in between. Soul's heart almost broke; his best friend had been having trouble and he hadn't noticed. His grief overwhelmed him and he let go of Maka's hand to run to his best friend to hug him with the others following suit a moment later. His emotions ran wild and everyone felt the impact of the sadness and guilt right after he felt them. "Guys we need to do something about this." He said somewhat loudly after letting go of his friend.

"Soul's right." Kidd said as he swiped the kit and the razor from the ground away from Black Star. "First we all need to calm down and get this cleaned up. Tsubaki, go find the first aid kit and we can make sure that this doesn't get infected. Maka go with her, Soul and I will take care of things her for the moment."

"Black Star…I…why? What's been bothering you this badly? How long? I'm so sorry." Soul said with tears spilling from his eyes like a burst dam as he hugged his friend once more.

"Soul…Kidd…" Black Star said with hesitation, "I'm so sorry." He said quietly, falling to his knees with his head in his hands. It was so out of character for Black Star to do something like this that it stunned both Soul and Kidd to the point that they stopped in their tracks, not knowing how to respond to an apologetic Black Star. "Your God shouldn't have made you worry like this." He said in response to the tension in the air.

"Black Star…it's…we are all here now. We can take care of this." Kidd said coolly as Maka and Tsubaki returned with the first aid kit.

"This won't feel great Black Star but it needs to be done. Soul, Kidd I need you to hold his arms while Tsubaki and I clean this cut. We need to know how deep this goes and if he needs stitches. From the amount of blood on our clothes and the amount still coming out of him, he probably does." Maka said blinking back tears, "I'm sorry."

The boys did as instructed and held Black Star back to the best of their ability until the alcohol swab got deep into the cut he had made. At that point, Black Star pulled away from both of them and almost smacked Maka's hand away before he was grabbed again. Black Star cried silent tears and bit the inside of his cheek to distract himself from the pain. In minutes that felt like hours, Maka had fully cleaned his injury before making the decision that everyone agreed with, Black Star was going to need stitches. Looking in the first aid kit, Tsubaki found some mild anesthetic that would make the process hurt much less than it would without the aid. As Maka reached for it, Tusbaki pulled away saying that she was the one who needed to do this process as he was her meister. Tears flooded her eyes as she applied the anesthetic and looked at her meister, "Stick your tongue out, Black Star." She told him softly. Upon him doing so, she dropped a bit on his outstretched tongue so that he would be distracted. Threading her needle, she quickly wiped her eyes dry so that she would be able to see her work and stuck the needle through. Working quickly, she finished in just a few minutes without much complaint from her meister. As soon as the process was completed she gently kissed the stitching and hugged along his waist. "Black Star." Her velvety soft voice lilted through the air, "We are going to get cleaned up now. It's all stitched up." She stood up, looked back and forth between Soul and Kidd, and spoke quietly, "You two need to stay here with him while Maka and I get clothes for everyone to change into." Everyone was stunned in quiet silence as it was a rare occasion for Tsubaki to be giving orders.

"I'll make sure he doesn't do anything else." Soul said with Kidd nodding in agreement.

"Let's go get ourselves new clothes, Tsubaki." Maka said with a soft smile trying to lighten the mood. Over their soul link, Maka ordered Soul, "Something is very wrong with Black Star's soul. Tell me what it is when you get him to talk about it." Soul responded by a nearly undetectable nod in the affirmative and the two girls turned around to go off and complete their next mission.

The three boys were left entirely alone in Black Star's room, staring at each other in an uncomfortable silence. Black Star breaking the quiet said, "I'm sorry guys. I…you weren't supposed to find out. I…"

"Just…what led you to do this?" Soul said while helping the ninja sit down.

"Yeah what gives? What is wrong? Your wavelength is chaotic." Kidd asked soon after they all were seated.

"I don't want to talk about it. You guys won't want to be my friends anymore. I don't want to lose you guys. My friends are what makes your god great." Black Star said, showing his vulnerable side mixed with his usual self.

"Whatever it is, I'm pretty sure we can handle it. After this, I'm pretty sure we can handle anything you throw at us." Kidd said looking at the wall behind Soul.

"What he said; if it makes you more comfortable I'll be more than happy to trade secrets with you. We are all friends here anyways." Soul spoke quite softly knowing that he was going to drop a bombshell on the unsuspecting ninja.

"I don't care. It's too big of a secret. You guys can't know." The ninja said with a slight flash of anger behind his sad and depressing tone.

"It can't be worse than this, Black Star. No matter what it is we are always going to be your friends. Nothing can change that. Not even if you strayed off the path to collect human souls. We would have to kill you, but we wouldn't ever stop being your friends. I mean seriously, it's not so big that we can't keep being friends. Do you secretly love Maka or something?" Soul said half jokingly, garnering a giggle from Kidd.

"No, well…no not that." Black Star started, "I…please don't tell anyone else. Not even Maka or Tsubaki. I'll do that myself." After gathering his thoughts for several minutes, he spoke again, "Guys. I just don't know how to say it…I…like both guys and girls." He said before breaking down into tears, leaving Soul and Kidd to stare at each other blankly as they shared a quick thought about what they had just talked about minutes before coming in here.

"That's it, Black Star?" Kidd asked receiving a nod in confirmation from the ninja. "I wasn't expecting that, but it's no big deal. Truth is, as a shinigami I like boys and girls equally. It's just that as a god of death…"

"Don't give him that speech, it will just confuse him like it did me." Soul interrupted quickly, "Black Star, the truth is…all three of us sitting here are like that, we both like guys and girls. I still have trouble accepting the idea, but it isn't something to be ashamed of." He said as he scooted closer to black star and hugged him minding to keep clear of his wound. "Nothing is different between you and I and I know that Kidd feels the same. Right Kidd?"

"Quite, in fact I feel no different at all. In fact I feel better knowing that this is what has been bothering you. I'm sorry I didn't notice sooner than this. I wish I would have so that I could have stopped this from happening." Kidd replied softly to assure his friend

"I do as well, Star. Truly I wish that I had noticed it before." Soul said before letting go of the young ninja.

"Really? You guys don't feel any different?" Black Star said in confusion. "And Kidd I didn't know that about you. I…I'm so sorry guys, you weren't supposed to find out about this."

"We are just glad we stopped it before you really hurt yourself or worse." Kidd swallowed nervously with the gravity of his words. "I'll go make us all some tea, symmetrically of course." The shinigami said getting up and heading towards the kitchen.

"I'll stay here with, Black Star. Tea sounds fine with me and I'm sure that we need to get him rehydrated after that amount of blood loss." Soul said, scooting back over to his friend.

"You know where it is, Kidd. It's in the middle cabinet on the right side and the left." Black Star said with a weak smile before latching onto his friend's chest releasing silent tears.

"Shhh…it's okay. Don't cry, Black Star. I'm here." Soul said gently patting his friend's back trying to get him to calm down.

"I just…I don't know anymore, Soul. It's so hard living like this. I'm not supposed to be this way. I'm only supposed to like girls."

"Black Star, it's okay to like boys and girls. I like them both."

"But…I don't think I'm supposed to. It's not normal." The ninja said looking up at his friend.

"No, liking boys and girls is completely normal. Thinking it isn't normal is a typical way to feel about the issue especially when you are the one liking boys and girls. I know it's hard to accept it or to even admit it, believe me when I say that I know it is hard. I am going through it as well." Soul said as he looked down into his friend's soft bluish-green eyes. His heart raced, his mind went blank, and to him the only thing that existed was the two of them in this moment right now. It was the two of them focused on the other and their emotions, the beginning of a soul bonding moment. In this slowed down few seconds of time, an unshakable bond had formed between the two boys that cemented them into each other's minds for the rest of their lives. Beyond this point they both knew everything would change between them with little being the same as it was before. Soul gently pressed his lips to his friend's noting the softness of the tear soaked skin around them, feeling the gentle prickliness of a beginning moustache on the top against his own smooth skin. A burst of romance mixed with love forced his hand gently to the ninja's face only to feel more facial hair just starting to come in, leaving his hand slightly itchy but gently formed to the shape of his jaw as he held him close. He held his breath knowing that he just kissed someone that he saw as his best friend, someone he could trust with all of his secrets, knowing that he felt the same way in return. Slowly he backed away ending his first kiss with another boy.

Black Star felt the kiss end and quickly drew another breath before leaning in to kiss his best friend. He pulled him down and pressed his lips against Soul's with some force, causing them both to inhale with excitement stemming from the fireworks they felt on the other's lips. The ninja felt his nose gently rubbing against Soul's incredibly smooth face and pulled him further into the kiss. He closed his eyes slightly tighter before opening them quickly to make sure he wasn't dreaming and that he really was kissing his friend. "Boyfriend" he thought quietly before quickly pushing it out of his mind. His pulse quickened and he was sure that Soul would feel it against his neck now red with embarrassment.

"I heard that, Black Star." Soul said as he pulled away from his friend. "Are you really thinking about that?"

Looking away in embarrassment, Black Star spoke in a small voice, "I ummm…maybe." He stammered, "I uhhh no I mean ummm…"

"It's okay. I'll entertain the thought. I'm still not sure I'm ready for that…and I don't know if you are ready for it. I mean…we only just came out to each other." Soul said trying to comfort the nervous ninja.

With his nerves clearly taking their toll on him and sucking a lot of his energy away, Black Star let a small yawn escape and smiled lightly at the thought of being with Soul.

"Your heartbeat is erratic even for you. What else is bothering you? You need to relax and talk to me about everything that's bothering you. I can't have my best friend in a fit because something is troubling him."

"Well I uhhh…the real reason I've been cutting…" the ninja stammered, "I just can't do this anymore."

"Do what exactly? What's bringing you down?"

"I umm just that…I…" the ninja said just as Maka and Tsubaki returned.

"Boys! I've got stuff for everyone, fresh out of the dryer." Maka said in a voice that was a cross between happy and flat. Her face changed as she sent Soul a thought over their soul link, "What's going on?" she asked. What Soul sent back soured her mood, "I can't tell you." He had said quietly as if everyone would spy on their link, "He asked me not to tell you and he wants to do it on his own at his own time. It's best if you let him do it his way. Trust me. You've been gone for half an hour and most of that was spent trying to get him to talk."

Hearing the words over their soul link left Maka slightly upset, but understanding as she knew it would be important for Black Star to tell everyone on his own time, "I trusted you, Soul. I still do, but I trusted you to tell me. I'm upset because I wanted to know, but if it's that important to him, you're off the hook." She sent back over their link just before she sent a happy feeling along with it.

"I'm back Soul, Black Star." Kidd said just before noticing the girls had returned, "Good to see you have come back, girls. I anticipated this and prepared us all some tea, in a very symmetric fashion. The cups are all perfectly aligned with the tea pot."

"Thank you, Kidd." The group responded in perfect unison, making Kidd happy and giddy for a perfect start and finish.

"First let's get everyone into a new set of clothes." Maka said softly as she handed everyone their clothes, "You boys can have your little changing party in here, we'll be away. Don't think too hard about it." She said with a wink not directed towards anyone. Soul smirked and tried to choke back a giggle at her pun making Maka smile brightly. Black Star smirked thinking about Tsubaki in a mostly obvious fashion causing his partner to fall into a deep blush. Kidd had no reaction other than a smile and a quip, "Nice one, Maka. What's the next one going to be?" which caused her to go from smile to frown immediately, "I'll Maka-chop you for that later, Kidd." She said as she and Tsubaki walked out of the room to head to Tsubaki's.

"Black Star. Here let's help you get changed so you don't bust your stitches. I just have this feeling that if you even try to do it alone you will do just that and we will all have to stitch you back together again." Soul said quietly.

"Yeah I really don't want to go through that again. It wasn't very pleasant. In fact it wasn't fun in the slightest." The ninja said with a frown crossing his face.

"I'm with Soul. Let's get your shirt on first. Then we will need to get the blood out of your pants, which shouldn't be all that hard in all honesty." The symmetry obsessed reaper said with a slight dip in his tone.

Soul helped Black Star to his feet despite protests to his own ability to stand up. The ninja barely raised his arms in order to assist the boys on either side of him to help put his shirt on. He felt the deep hatred inside himself for putting his friends through this situation and internally lambasted himself hoping nobody else would know what he truly felt. As the shirt drifted down across his stitches he winced in pain as the numbing agent had mostly worn off at this moment and he could now feel mostly everything including how the stitching stretched as he moved his arm around.

Knowing that the time was at hand he took his clean pants and turned around to face away from the other boys, his friends. "Please…don't look." He had said hoping to get some slight privacy. He didn't normally wear anything under his pants and he today was no different. He snuck a quick peek from behind his friends to realize that neither of them was wearing anything under their own pants either. "Well then." He said nervously, "Uhh guys. Are any of us wearing anything under out pants?" the ninja asked. Both responses he received were steeped with deep embarrassment and in the negative. "Guess that's one more thing we all have in common then. It's okay. Your god isn't afraid of it now that he knows the truth." He said as he turned around naked from the waist down.

"Really Black Star?" Soul said trying to look away, "Are you effing serious?"

"I'm going to have to go with Soul here. Seriously?" he said also trying but failing to look away.

"Yes really." The ninja said very proud of himself. He was the farthest along in puberty, which left him being the biggest out of the group. "And best part is. I'm a grower too."

"I am so not having this conversation." Soul said as he turned around finally, knowing that he wasn't the biggest even though he was the oldest.

"I'm not either. It's not like we really need to compare." Kidd said as blush filled his pale cheeks, turning them redder than they had been in a while.

"You guys are awful. Way to make my self esteem jump up." The ninja said with a frightening sadness.

"Oh do not try to pull that one on me." Soul had said with a giggle as he pulled on his pants and fixed his fly. "That's just not happening today or ever."

"I'm with him on this. Not today." Kidd said as he pulled a set of shorts and a light t-shirt.

Black Star finally slipped into a pair of sweatpants after gingerly crouching down to avoid bending his body and smiled, "I did it. All by myself."

"Actually, that's a good thing, Star. It means that you are smart enough to actually avoid ripping your stitches." Maka said as she and Tsubaki walked in.

"I see we aren't a moment too soon." Tsubaki said in her usual timid voice, "Much sooner and I think we would have gotten to see things, literally."

"Uhhhhh did she just say what I think she said? Never mind that, we should already know that she's the most likely to feel that way after being trapped in that stupid book." Soul said in a cool manner.

"Really? Did you really have to bring that up?" Tsubaki said, narrowing her eyes as a sweat drop formed above her.

"It's kind of funny actually. Well to us it is." Kidd said with a smirk.

"You guys are something else. Let's go back to the couches. I think we need to have a very long talk with a certain ninja about this incident." Maka said, leveling a look at Soul, telling him that she wanted to know what the deal was.

"Black Star please hand me your pants. I'll get the blood out really fast and join the rest of you guys in there. Kidd please bring the tea. If it needs to be heated or chilled, I'll let you decide what to do." Tsubaki said concerned sweetness.

As they all walked back down the hall, the Soul stayed with Black Star to make sure that he didn't fall over and hurt himself, making the ninja feel useless and out of place in his own life. "I can walk on my own, Soul." He had said with a flare of anger and depression intertwined in his voice. The scythe ignored the comment and had dropped a step or two behind him to make sure that his friend felt like part of the group. Upon making their way to the small den, Kidd broke away to the kitchen, intending on chilling the tea in the refrigerator.


	2. Chapter 2

Here's the second chapter. I'm continuing to take them a little OOC and make Black Star have an emotion other than insane. Please review if you like the story, also if you have something you might like to see in a future chapter, please do submit it in a review and I'll do my best to incorporate it with my own ideas.

* * *

As the group took seats on the couch, Black Star sat on a small pillow on the floor, facing the group before moving over to sit next to Tsubaki with tears welling in his eyes. He knew that he was in trouble and he knew that there was going to be a long lecture ahead of him. Though the room was filled with light, it felt dark and uninviting almost to the point of making him physically ill with anxiety.

The tension in the room was palpable, so much so that one could cut it with a knife fairly easily. Tsubaki moved to give her meister more room than she normally would and Maka was giving Black Star a hard stare that mixed disdain with concern. The ninja wasn't enjoying it in any capacity and he was right to not do so as it was going to be a very long discussion. Soul sat next to his meister and had a look of pity crossed with anger though it was self-depreciation anger rather than entirely directed at Black Star. Kidd sat to the left of Black Star after returning from the kitchen and shook his head mostly in disappointment.

"Black Star, I think we all need to have a very long discussion with you about what just happened. Emotions are a bit high right now and that's not cool, but it's completely forgivable in that we are all scared and stressed out right now." Soul said with some conviction, "Look, I know there are multiple issues going on and I intend on letting you talk about them at your own pace because there is no good in forcing you to talk before you are ready to talk. But I also want to let you know that everything is going to be okay. All of us are here for you in whatever capacity you need us to be. I know we generally didn't talk about your emotions or anything else with you, but that is going to change. If something truly is bothering you, there is no shortage of people here to talk about it with. I for one feel really bad about not noticing or helping beforehand." Soul said as he looked around the room for confirmation.

"Soul is right, Star. We are all here for you. I also feel pretty lousy for not being around like I should." Kidd said with a tone blending emotional pain with wanting.

"The boys are right. I'm your weapon and I should have noticed. I'm so sorry Black Star. I'm so sorry." Tsubaki said, her eyes welled with tears as she gently hugged her meister, "I'm going to do a better job from now on."

"They are right, Black Star. I…I'm sorry that your troubles went unnoticed by any of us. Please…forgive me, I'm…so sorry." Maka said with tears in her eyes. She looked around the room and noticed that even Soul was starting to have trouble maintaining his composure. "Whatever you need, Black Star. We are here for you, we all want to help you."

"You don't need to help me, guys. I'm your God. I'm above help of mortals." Black Star said, trying to fake a smile.

"Just…Black Star…don't do that. Just…you're human like us. It's okay to need help and support." Kidd said ironically.

"I…fine…I've been struggling with depression for a while now. It's why I'm…acting all funny all the time. It's why I have an ego the size of a house. I…just don't want you guys to worry about me. There's bigger fish to fry in the world like keeping the Kishin eggs from becoming Kishin. Don't worry about me. I'll be okay. It's just a bout of it." The ninja said with despair deeply woven through his voice. He looked around and felt the eyes of everyone boring holes in him and the weight of his problems now sinking into his shoulders even more. "I just…it's been tough ever since we lost Chrona and Lord Death. Killing Mifune…I…took so much from me. It's been hard. I just have so much trouble dealing with my emotions from that. I thought that I was invincible and didn't have to worry about feelings, but obviously I do. I guess." He said, sighing quietly after he finished speaking.

"Black Star…can I ask you…a question about your…cutting?" Maka asked nervously, "If it's too much to talk about…feel free to say so."

"You can ask." Black Star replied softly with a nod of his head.

"How many cuts have you made on your body?" She asked trying not to tear up and stumble on her words. Noting that she was about to burst into tears, Soul grabbed her hand and held it softly.

"I've cut four hundred and five lines on my body." He replied looking at Maka and then at Tsubaki, "I'm so sorry." He said before hugging his weapon tightly. His emotions flowed over the top as tears spilled out of his eyes. The pain washed over him once again as he remembered the final fight with Mifune and how his arm was cut and his fingers broken. He remembered how it felt to be hurt so badly and the emotions of taking a life. He looked over at his friends and saw that Soul was holding onto Maka with tears in his eyes and that Kidd was sitting in the same spot with his knees up to his chest, hanging his head in them. To Black Star it all felt like a horrible nightmare that he couldn't escape from even in his sleep. He felt entirely helpless at the thought of feeling emotions and struggling with depression, "There isn't any significance to each cut nor are they grouped together for a certain reason. There's no group of cuts that are for each injury or time I've let you down. They are just…there to help.

"Black Star…that's…a lot. I don't even know what to say." Kidd said as he wiped his eyes and peeked over his knees. "All I know is that we are going to have to come up with a strategy to make sure you are fairly well monitored and that we all share the time. What do you all think?" Kidd asked as he scanned the others for their opinion.

"I agree with Kidd. We all need to watch out for each other in general, but Black Star is the one most in need right now. Let's figure this one out." Soul said coolly through his teary eyes and choked voice.

"I agree as well." Tsubaki said quietly, "My meister needs help and we need to help him as best we can."

"I feel the same way. We have to help him. He's part of all of us. He is so special to us and he's glue that holds our resonance together. Even if he can be self absorbed and mean sometimes." Maka said with a small smile cracking her lips causing Black Star to giggle.

"I…have something to tell you guys…I just…don't want to do it in this kind of setting. I…need to think about it in private for a while before I tell you. But…thank you, all of you. I…really need you guys right now and I'm glad to know that someone really does care and is willing to help me. It…helps so much to know that you care." Black Star lied to them hoping that nobody would notice. "I'm…going to be in Tsubaki's room. I won't leave it and I know there's nothing in there that I can cut myself with. Right Tsubaki?" he said before standing up to leave.

"You're right Black Star. I've kept everything out of there since we moved in together." His weapon said quietly.

"Black Star…we really do care about you, even if you don't believe us. We care about you deeply. You're part of our group of friends and that means something to us. You faced down the Kishin with us, helped us fight the witches, and even helped us fight against the clowns. You have done so much and helped us all grow in so many ways that we would be lost without you binding us together. Thank you." Soul said with a smile as his friend left to go to his weapon's room.

As soon as the door shut, the rest of the group began to quietly debate about how to best keep him monitored so he wouldn't hurt himself. The tension in the room dropped exponentially and it felt like though there was still a great burden on their shoulders, they could breathe again.

"I think we could have him committed for a while in the nurse's office. It couldn't hurt. Could it?" Kidd suggested quickly.

"I don't think that's the best option to be honest. What if we all take turns having him over sometimes? I mean he's not good with being in a group and showing his emotions. It's like Soul not talking about his problems unless it's to one person." Maka observed, "Not that there's anything wrong with it, it's just that I know Black Star even though he wants to be the biggest and baddest of us all, looks up to Soul greatly."

"Agreed, I hate sharing my emotions in general and it's just not possible in this kind of setting. I can't do it unless it's a one on one." Soul agreed, "I also think that having him spend the night at Gallows with Kidd and the girls as well as spending some time with Maka and I will help. I mean we could all sleep over at one place as well, when is the last time that we all spent some quality time together that wasn't fighting and made a day of it?"

"I think you guys are right. I can get through to him a lot of the time, but sometimes I just…it's hard putting up with him sometimes, but I won't tell him." Tsubaki whispered, "Black Star is a wonderful meister, but there are things he does and says that are hurtful. We can all share him though; it's probably something he wants anyways. I know that he doesn't feel that he gets to spend enough time with you guys. I also agree that we could all spend the night together, I love doing that."

"I think that we could take him for the night if you would like that Tsubaki. You wouldn't have to stay up and watch him or let him sleep in your bed with you. Maka, thoughts?" Soul offered.

"I think we could do it. I also like giant sleepovers and trips. What do you guys think?" Maka replied with a smile.

"I kind of like those ideas. He's just…so messy. It would take me three days to clean up after him." Kidd said with a shudder.

"Guys I don't want you to feel forced into this. I really appreciate the offer, but I don't want to burden you with more troubles." Tsubaki offered quietly with a voice of embarrassment.

"It's no trouble at all, Tsubaki. We are all friends here and I'm sure that Black Star would love to spend time with all of us. It should help him with his depression, in theory." Kidd offered as reassurance.

"That's okay with me if you guys are really okay with it." Tsubaki replied after a tense few moments of silence. "Let's see what he has to say when he comes back out."

"We'll have to, he's cut off the resonance link so he can be alone." Maka and Kidd said in unison.

"Why don't we take Black Star tonight and let you rest, Tsubaki? You did the bulk of the work today." Soul asked quietly, looking in Maka's direction for a nod of approval.

"That's a great idea, Soul." Maka nodded quickly letting her partner off the hook for not asking her beforehand, "He trusts Soul as much as he trusts you so I'm sure he could get through to him. Besides, Soul is right. You need a break from today, we all do. I don't think we should rotate him through us though. He needs stability and that would really ruin him if that happened. We just need to find time to be friends rather than partners who work together only."

"I...if you guys are sure that you would be okay with having him tonight, I'll let him know and I'll call you when he decides on what he wants to do. The only thing we really need to do now is respect his decisions unless they are really bad and going to get him hurt." Tsbuaki said quietly.

"Kidd, we really haven't discussed what is going to happen with all of us as a group since we defeated the Kishin. I mean, we've been attending classes here and there between missions, but I just…I know that school is something that stresses out Black Star. It stresses Soul out as well. I think it stresses everyone out, but I just want to know what you would think about considering us graduated so that we no longer have to attend classes." Maka asked in a curious manner.

"She has a point, Kidd. The DWMA has really served its purpose of defeating the witches as we have struck a peace treaty with them that is indefinite. Not to say that they aren't planning to stab us in the back, but it truly served the purpose. The only thing we have to worry about is the eggs becoming Kishin. Beyond that we need to set about restoring the command chain for each of the continents, we lost several good officers." Soul added as he sat back before hugging his meister much to her embarrassment.

"You do bring up a few good points. I'm keeping my death scythes here for now so that we can keep a group ready should something go wrong. I'd like you to attend a few classes so that if you decide to leave the DWMA and go into a normal or as normal as possible life, you can be prepared. As far as I am concerned, your education in the classroom is pretty much complete though I would like you all to take five more classes, ones you haven't taken before. You will take them as a group and upon the completion of every class, you will be considered officially graduated." Kidd said with pride.

"Just five more classes? I like this. Here I was thinking I would have to be in school for forever." Soul said with a smirk.

"But that doesn't answer the point about missions and command structure." Maka said as she pulled away from Soul's embrace.

"The command structure can be rebuilt by the meisters and weapons that graduate next year, if there are any four star meisters that is. I will talk to Sid about that point. As to missions, Soul and Tsubaki are death scythes. I'm not going to make any of you go on anything but the highest-level missions. If you want to do a low-level mission that is your choice, but when you do the higher-level missions, you will have to take a lower star pair of students with you so that they can learn." Kidd said, scanning the room for reactions.

"You're in charge, Kidd. I think we all agree with your plans." Tsubaki said as the others nodded in agreement.

Black Star sat in his weapon's room and killed his link with the rest of the group; he wanted to be truly alone in his sadness. He hated feeling alone like he did right now, but it was the only way he could think to be so he could muster the courage to tell his weapon about his sexuality. He didn't think he could face Maka about it yet, rather he knew he couldn't face her with it. She was the oldest friend he had and he thought of her as so much more than just a regular friend. She was his best friend next to his weapon. He was desperate to be able to tell her, but he knew that the courage would never be gathered before the group finished their discussion about what to do with him. He knew that it wouldn't be good and that they would likely just have him committed to the psych ward in the nurse's office, as there weren't really many options otherwise.

Black Star dreaded the feeling of being locked away. His group needed him and there was nobody else that could wield Tsubaki like he did. What if there was some important mission that he had to go on because the Maka and Soul were tied up with something or injured again? What if Kidd had a job that could only be handled by a ninja? Obviously, he would have to work on his sneaking skills and being quiet rather than making a large entrance. "Perhaps it would do me some good to be in the psych ward." Black Star thought as tears streamed down his reddening face.

He looked around his weapon's room and marveled at the simplicity of it. There weren't that many things in there besides her desk, a TV, and an Xbox with a few games. Even her bed was simple; being a full size bed rather than a queen or a king as he thought it would and really, should be, as she deserved nothing but the best for putting up with him. Her walls were simple and decorated with a few pictures of the two in different stances and weapon forms along with some pictures of her family. Her bed sheets were even simple in that they were light green with a darker green stripe through the middle. There simply was nothing complex about his partner even in her choice of childhood treasures such as a simple dollhouse with dull and quiet colors or her very bland jewelry box. It left him stunned; in the time that he had lived with his partner he had never really noticed her room or its decorations.

While he looked he continued to cry silently, knowing that his entire life was about to change when he pulled his weapon into her room to discuss things with her. "I don't even know how to tell her that I'm interested in guys and girls." He thought quietly, "I…I could only tell Soul and Kidd because they told me they both felt the same as well. I don't think I could hurt Tsubaki like this after all that she has done for me. She has helped me mature greatly in that I know far more about how to be an assassin because of her. She has the blood of a demon weapon running through her and she is the best partner anyone could ever ask for. I don't know what I'd do without her." His thoughts grew quieter in his mind as his tears finally subsided. He gave the room one last look and kissed his partner's pillows softly as if that would impart some emotional connection to her. "I…I guess that I'll just tell her almost the same way that I told Soul and Kidd and hope for the best." He thought as he stood up and walked towards the door. "Well, here goes nothing. I hope this goes well." He said to himself at a nearly silent volume in a tone that mixed depression with fear and anxiety as he reached for the doorknob. "You can do this." He said as he opened the door and walked out of the room.

"Bye Maka, bye Soul. I'll call you later." Tsubaki said in her quiet manner as she gave each of them a hug.

"Bye Tsubaki, can't wait to hear from you." The pair said in unison.

"I'll be heading off as well. Call me if either of you need something." Kidd said as Tsubaki gently hugged him.

"I will. Thank you for everything today, Kidd. If…it's not too much trouble, could you give all of us a break from missions? I think it would help us all in the long run to just have a bit of time off." Tsubaki asked as she let go of Kidd.

"That I can do. We all deserve a break from missions. I don't really think we have taken a break since we fought the madness and actually won on the moon of all places to battle."

"Thank you, Kidd." She replied as she showed him to the door before wandering back into the living room to find her meister albeit a bit pale sitting beside where she had been recently sitting. She smiled softly at him before sitting next to him. "Are you feeling okay, Black Star?"

"To tell you the truth, Tsubaki…I don't know. I'm scared out of my mind right now. I…can I…have a hug please? Just…a hug, it will help me get my nerves under control." He said softly with fear coursing through his voice.

"Of course you can, Black Star." She said as she gently wrapped her arms around him. "I can feel your heart beating in your chest. It's beating really fast, faster than I've ever heard or felt it beat. Whatever it is you have to tell me, I promise it will be okay. I won't hurt you and I certainly won't tell anyone if you don't want me to tell. I promise."

"Tsubaki…I…the problem…I…me…you…I…Tsubaki…I don't know how else to say it so I'm just going to say it. Tsubaki, I…have always had feelings for girls, you know that firsthand, but more recently I've found that I…also like boys. It's…I don't honestly know how else to put it. I…like boys and girls." He said nearly fainting from fear in the process. His already pale skin lost its remaining color, and he felt sick to his stomach.

"Black Star? Is that everything?" Tsubaki asked with some concern in her voice, "I honestly wasn't expecting you to say that, but no matter because it's perfectly okay and perfectly normal to like boys and girls."

"You don't…hate me or see me differently?" he asked as he pulled back from her hug and scratched his head softly in confusion.

"Of course I don't, Black Star. You are who you are and I can't change that. It wouldn't be right of me to even try to do that. You're my meister and my closest friend. I'm so glad that you felt safe enough to finally tell me about it. Thank you for telling me. It makes me feel so much better that I know this about you."

"Thank you Tsubaki, for everything. It means so much to me. I…didn't know how you would react to that and I was terrified that it would change everything about us."

"The only thing it changes about us is now I have someone to talk about boys with maybe even girls." She said lightheartedly as she winked at her meister.

"Very funny. I already know your taste in boys from the Lust chapter of Eibon's book." Black Star said with a giggle as he hugged his weapon tightly. "From what I recall you looked oddly like me for a while."

Tsubaki blushed deeply as she hugged her meister back, leaning back on the couch and pulling him with her, "You're mean, Black Star. You are just mean. You're correct, but also mean."

"It's just because I'm right isn't it?" he asked with a giggle as he happily laid with his weapon, "I think it's just because I'm right. I'm your god after all."

"Yeah yeah, god boy. It's because you are a god after all." She said rolling her eyes very deeply.

"I forgot to do this." Black Star said as he restored the resonance link between himself and his partner, "Don't die on me, Tsubaki. It's awfully cold without you."

"The same for you, Black Star. That cold you experienced was simply a reaction to being away from someone you really care about and missing a certain thing with them. But yes, it's a very deep and chilling cold when you aren't resonating with me." She said blushing even deeper.

"I think…wait…earlier you said that you have someone to talk about boys with and maybe girls…what aren't you telling me Tsubaki? Are you…like me?" the ninja asked in a perplexed manner.

"Well…kind of. I've always kind of had a thing for boys and girls, I've liked both probably since I was little." She said quietly, "I mean. I didn't know that you were struggling with it or I would have most certainly helped you through it. I'm going to be her for you, every single step of the way. I promise it, Black Star. Even if we are apart, you know that I always have my phone with me. I'm here for you every minute of the day no matter what it is that you need help with." Tsubaki said with a low volume, embarrassment flooding through her voice.

"Thank you for telling me Tsubaki." Black Star replied nervously, "What was it you guys were talking about while I was in your room?"

"There's a lot that we talked about, Black Star. We talked about missions and school along with how we are all going to help you fight your troubles. Kidd specifically said that because we helped destroy the Kishin that we are to be finished with school after we take five more classes. Those classes are ones that are based on life skills that we would need to possess if we were to decide that we don't want to be with DWMA anymore. He also said that we are all going to be given a break from mandatory missions and if we go on them they will be high level missions, but we will also have to have a lower star weapon and meister pair to tag along with us and that we can continue doing missions meant for one and two star pairs. The only thing he stipulated about the classes is that we have to take five, as I said earlier, but they have to be ones that we haven't taken before and that we are taking them as a group, you, Soul, Maka, and I." Tsubaki said as she lay with her meister resting at her side.

"That's…a lot. Tsubaki, I don't know what I would do if it wasn't for you. I…know that what you saw earlier really hurt you and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have started cutting, but…" his voice broke as tears welled in his eyes, "I just couldn't stand being the way I am. It was just so hard to accept it." The ninja said as his tears spilled over into his voice. He laid his head back on his weapon's shoulder and wept bitter tears of pain. It was a moment of pure emotional anguish for him, something he had really never experienced.

"Black Star, shhh don't cry. It's okay," Tsubaki said trying to comfort the broken meister after a few minutes of tears, "I know how hard it can be, but it's okay. I'm here and ready to help you. All of us are. Our entire group is ready to talk to you about everything at any time."

"Tsu…Tsubaki. I'm really sorry." The ninja said as he recomposed himself. "I'm really sorry that I started cutting. I'm really sorry about everything."

"It's okay, Black Star. I'm just glad you are here and you are safe now. I'm going to do whatever it takes to help you. By the way, I neglected to mention something that the rest of us talked about while we waited for you." Tsubaki said sheepishly.

"What did you guys talk about? Locking me up until I recover completely? I don't wanna do that." He said with a tinge of fear in his voice.

"No, well yes, but no. We decided against that. What I was going to say is that we've agreed to start spending more time together and take time off from missions and school. Also, Soul would like to know if you want to spend the night with him. No rush on your answer."

"I…I'd like to, but I want to spend time with you for a little. I'm really comfy like this…minus the crying of course." The ninja replied with excitement in his voice.

"Perfectly fine with them, I'll call and let him know that you want to. I'll make sure that you get some food before you go over there so you don't eat them out of house and home…again…" Tsubaki said with a joking glare at her meister.

"Thank you so much." He replied before falling asleep on his weapon's shoulders.

An hour later, Tsubaki gently shook Black Star to wake him up for dinner. "Black Star, wake up." She softly spoke, "Time for dinner. I made stuffed rice balls, your favorite."

"RICE BALLS!" Black Star said enthusiastically as he shot up from the couch. "I love rice balls. Thank you Tsubaki."

"It's no trouble at all, Black Star." She replied quietly in direct contrast to her meister's loudness. "I know that you love them and I wanted to make you your favorite food to celebrate you telling me your secret. It takes a lot of trust to tell someone a secret that big and I'm both proud of you and happy that you told me."

"Thank you Tsubaki, for everything. How…long was I asleep? Is it too late to go over to Soul's?" He asked sleepily.

"You were asleep for a little more than an hour, I called Soul and let him know that you would be there after you ate your dinner. It's not too late as it's only half past five. I had enough time to make us both some food so we could eat together." Tsubaki said with a warm and comforting smile. "Want me to bring you a bowl?"

"If you want to bring your god one, that's fine by me." Black Star said with a smirk.

Tsubaki turned around and went to get them both some rice balls with her meister sneaking behind her. Just as she began to reach for a bowl she felt arms wrap around her waist and something lean on her back, "Black Star?" she asked timidly.

"Thank you Tsubaki. Thank you so much for everything." The ninja said as he let go of her and grabbed two bowls before getting a few rice balls for each of them. "I figured I could start repaying you by doing small things to help out."

"You're welcome Black Star. Anything for my meister." Tsubaki said as she turned and kissed his forehead gently.

The two went back to their living room and sat close to each other, quickly eating their rice balls. Black Star soon finished and went to his room to gather some extra clothes and bandages in the case he should tear open his stiches on accident after doing the dishes quickly. Returning from his room with a backpack full of stuff he smiled at his weapon and spoke quietly, "I'll call you when I get to Soul's. I shouldn't be long, but first I'm going to get a shower." He smiled and stared at Tsubaki who seemed to be slightly sad that her meister would be leaving, "Please do call me. You don't have anything you can cut yourself with do you? Do you have an extra set of clothes, some bandages, your controller, and some snacks?" she had asked him in a concerned manner. Black Star's voice was gentle in positive and negative reply before heading to take a shower.

As soon as the water hit his skin he jumped, "GAH TOO HOT. I'M MELTING!" He screamed and heard Tsubaki crack up in the living room as he turned the temperature of the water down leaving it still hot enough to steam up the bathroom just like he loved. He smiled and then frowned as the water reached his stitches and instantly moved out of the way so they wouldn't get wet. 'Perhaps I should have covered those better.' He thought quietly. He looked down at his body at the cuts he had made and looked at the scars and frowned at how they looked to him. 'They are now a part of me, forever. All the pain and suffering that those brought me, but the sweet release of the stress that melted away only to return. They are forever a part of my body now.' His thoughts started blending together as tears fell from his eyes, the pain washing off of his skin and into his soul as he quickly scrubbed his spiky blue hair clean. He knew that self-hatred would always be a problem in his life and it bothered him greatly.

"Black Star? Can I come in?" Tsubaki's voice called from outside the door, breaking his train of thought.

"If you want to you can." He replied dismally.

"Black Star," Tsubaki said as she opened the door to the bathroom, "it's okay. I'm here now. I felt your sadness from the living room and I wanted to check on you. She continued as she sat on the floor next to her meister's towel. I don't want you to be sad, Black Star. You can talk to me about anything you know. I won't judge or hate you for it."

"I know," Black Star replied with tears choking his voice as he quickly washed his body, taking great care to be ginger around his stitches, "I just…I don't know how to deal with my emotions. I'm sad all the time and I hate who I've become. I just want to be happy, but I don't know how to."

"That's okay, Black Star. It will take time to heal everything, even your scars, and I promise you that I will be here every single step of the way for you. I'll do my best to help you. You don't even need to ask me." The weapon said calmly before standing up. "Hey, come to the center of the shower and close to the edge."

"Thank you Tsubaki." He said as he did what he was told. Seconds later he felt the curtain wrap around him with Tsubaki's arms pushing it. He felt a sense of peace and security that hadn't been there before. "Tsu…Tsubaki, thank you. I…really needed a hug."

"I know you did, that's why I'm hugging you, they help settle your emotions in a way that nothing else can. Now wipe your tears away because I'm here for you." Tsubaki said quietly. She felt strong arms move against hers as he wiped his bitter tears away silently. "Don't forget, you still have to go over to Soul's. I'll have my phone so turned all the way up so you can call me if you need me."

"Thank you again, Tsubaki. Thank you for being so supportive of me. I need that now more than anything else. I'm also done showering so unless you want to see me naked, I suggest you either turn around or go."

"Wouldn't be the first time I did." Tsubaki said with a giggle as she left her meister to get dried off.

As soon as he arrived at Soul's apartment complex, Black Star called Tsubaki to let her know that he had made it safely and in record time of ten minutes. He felt a smile grow on his face as he walked up the steps to his friend's apartment and punched Soul's number in.

"Hey Soul, I'm walking up right now." He said as soon as he heard his friend answer his phone.

"Cool. See you in a few." Soul said before hanging up.

"Sou-"Black Star began as Soul hung up, "sounds good." He said, perplexed at the slight tinge of sadness in his friend's voice. "I wonder what's up with Soul." He said as he scratched his head causing his spiky blue hair to go everywhere.

As he continued walking up the steps his confusion regarding that bit of emotion that slipped through Soul's voice only increased. He knew that they would have to talk about it at some point that night, which made him panic at the idea of him having to tell Maka about him being bisexual. He felt dirty at the word, he didn't like the idea of being bisexual or rather he hated the label that was tacked onto what he liked. The word was almost like a plastic bottle being crunched at it ate away at him slowly. He knew that every one of his friends would be okay with him no matter what who he loved so long as it was a good person and they treated him fairly. He looked around and realized he was on the top floor of the building, which meant he had arrived to Soul's floor and he smiled softly knowing that he would be able to hug his friend and smell that same strange smell that had to be a mixture of his cologne mixed with his natural musk. Black Star loved that smell, whatever it was. He meandered over to Soul and Maka's door and knocked softly before standing still, waiting. A moment passed by quickly and Soul opened the door with a smirk.

"Hey Black Star." Soul greeted him with a smile and a gentle hug that caused Black Star's heart to flutter.

"H…hey Soul." He said as he returned the hug, taking in that smell that was ever so slightly different than what he remembered from their last hug 'Perhaps he took a shower. Whatever it is, I'm definitely in love with it. I love that smell.' He noticed something on his neck and knew what it was just from the feeling. "Soul you're drooling on me again."

"Sorry." Soul said quickly with a definite embarrassment in his voice and let go of his friend before turning around and walking back into his apartment, "Come on, got new stuff to show you."

"This I have to see." Black Star said softly, slightly hurt that Soul had cut the hug short. "Hey Maka!" He said in a slightly louder than normal voice, "Your god has arrived."

"Hey Black Star, good to see you are doing a little better." Maka replied, turning around with a smile as her pigtails whipped around behind her. "Soul has some stuff to show you, there's leftovers in the fridge if you guys get hungry, and I'll be reading if you guys need me." The energy seemed to radiate off of her as she skipped over to the couch dressed in what he knew were her favorite sweatpants and her favorite t-shirt.

"Thanks Maka. You look nice by the way." Black Star said as he got closer to Soul. He felt the heat radiating from Soul's body as he was only a step or two away and shut the door behind him as soon as they got into Soul's room. "What have you got to show me?" he asked quietly.

"New posters on the wall. Also wanted to show you this," Soul said as he stepped closer to his friend and pulled him into a soft kiss that took Black Star's breath away.

"That's really neat, Soul." Black Star said as he tried to catch his breath, "I think that's one of the coolest things I've seen in a while."

"Really? I thought…that might have been too cool to show you." Soul replied with his trademark spiky toothed smile.

"Definitely cool." Black Star's heart pounded in his chest with the thought of kissing Soul again. He barely heard his own response to Soul as thoughts of Soul's body clouded his mind. His only outstanding thought was to put his backpack by Soul's tv. "I…brought my controller, Soul."

"Excellent. I was about to ask you if you remembered to bring it." Soul answered coolly, seeming to not be phased by kissing his best friend. "Now, let's get down to gaming."


End file.
